If the child chose his mother If the child chose his mother
Many women know or have experienced the desire to have a child, to give life, to nurture. We carry first this yearning, and then we make it happen.
For some, there is somehow a realization even before the desire is born, which can become synonymous with happiness or remain a disappointment.
The question would be, how to create this encounter between mother and child?
Potential mothers expect their wish to be fulfilled, then to live an idyll with a child matching their fantasy.
And if birth was the convergence between two desires:
Isn’t it about the birth of a mother and giving life to a child?
Then the mother in the making can feel ready (or not), and the child is the living creature to be born, ready to experience this life incarnation.
What if your child chose you?
It completely changes the angle of view, doesn’t it?
It is possible that apart from the material world that conditions us and freezes us, we have the ability to perceive many more things.
It is possible for the child to choose his mother based on what he knows and what he wishes to experience in his own way.
Your child is not a living creature who comes to fulfill your need and make you happy. Your child is a person who has chosen you because you potentially have the ability to bring him what he needs to be happy. He chose you to be the partner, the ally of his development.
It is when you agree to release this potential, that you reveal who you really are, so that you can achieve happiness.
Being a parent is not a role to play, it is a function that a child assigns you with. You complete this function perfectly when you are yourself. When you are what he felt before manifesting himself, when you also express your potential.
Remember this difference between BEING and DOING.
It is possible for the child to choose his mother based on what he knows and what he wishes to experience in his own way…
…He chose you to be the partner, the ally of his development.
Too often you seek to do instead of being. As a parent you try to do right by your child, depending on how you understand your role, depending on what you may have seen or experienced, depending on what you need to feel.
You are then focused on practical and material aspects of life but your substance as a person is absent. The wonderful individual who had to enrich this young life does not exist, he does not have the time to grow too busy to work on secondary issues.
Some mothers who are far from perfect and with little means are held in high esteem by their children, while others, convinced to have excelled, are condemned by frustrated children.
The secret is simple : Be You!
I thanked each of my children for choosing me as their mother.
I’ve lived the experience as an honour because they are people with great qualities. And they chose me! They perceived that I had the potential to manifest their happiness.
I understood then that it was not so much effort that I had to do to be up to the task, but I had to be especially the best version of myself.
I needed to be authentic, in tune with myself.
I had to worry about my own happiness, so I could share it with my children.
My daughters told me that I was angry, sometimes intolerant with my relatives, I demanded too much of myself under pressure and became unpleasant when things did not suit me. Despite everything, they learned to conjugate with these aspects of my personality. They grew up becoming each, this exceptional person that I felt they could be. They are not like me even though they share some aspects of my character.
Today as young adults, asked this question: « Is there anything to change from your childhood, something that was too much or missed »?
They answer: « nothing ».
In abundance as in scarcity, they have always considered having everything they needed. Going through changes in their lives, they feel that they have received the essentials for their development which boils down to love and healthy relationships.
I’m not perfect, there are things I would have wanted to do differently to feel better or more comfortable in my role as a mother. My path considered atypical was not a socially valued model but I understood one thing: no matter the circumstances, the experiences, the essential is in me. I feel good and my offsprings too.
I am authentic and my children are endowed with the faculty to understand and analyse what is happening in their reality, to make their own ideas that will serve them at the right time during their life course.
So, dear mother, no matter the circumstances in which you became a parent of this new life to be, know that he chose you for what you are. Not for specific living conditions, not for what you can do, it is all the more neither blessing nor curse, this life simply exists. The happiness and balance of your child depends on your happiness and your personal balance. If you wish to be a mother at the height of this privilege, be a woman at the height of who you really are.
…If you wish to be a mother at the height of this privilege, be a woman at the height of who you really are.